jersey cow syndrome

i guess it was only a matter of time before i was broken down by this world again. usually the stresses and the challenges of nursing school are the things that get under my skin, but this time it's my situation.

my dad is the one that i usually has to calm my thoughts down. if he was to describe me he'd probably say that i was a jersey cow. for those of you that don't know the relationship between me and a jersey cow i will explain. jersey's are creatures of habit and are very stubborn. they have order and a system that they must follow or they freak out. well by freak out i mean lock their legs and freeze in place. if a new person is in the barn and it's time to get milked they'll just stand motionless til the farmer comes and guides them. whenever i let the weight of the world overwhelm me i get this jersey cow syndrome. i just freeze as thoughts of what am i doing here in memphis? do i really want to do nursing? am i going to be single for the rest of my life? where am i going to work? o the list could just go on and on, but i think that you get the point. these questions eat away at me and paralyze me. this picture of the farmer/father and the cow paints a picture in my head of Christ and us. we get in these habits of doing the same thing over and over because it's safe and comfortable. we stay on the straight paths that we're on, not wanting to wander because we're afraid of finding out if the grass is really greener on the other side. so we stick with the same herd, same roads, and same place even when we know that the farmer/father is watching over us and he is there to guide our steps. i just love psalm 139

"O LORD, you HAVE SEARCHED me and KNOWN me!
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from afar.
You search out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways...." (ps 139:1-3)

we have a God that knows us, our every thought, every move, yet we still doubt His plans for our life's???? another set of verses that has really been on my heart lately is from acts.

"And he made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined allotted periods and the boundaries of their dwelling place. that they should seek God, in the hope that they might feel their way toward him and find him. Yet he is actually not far from each one of us" acts 17: 26

these two passages bring my dad's words of wisdom to my ears. he always says to me when i doubt "ye of little faith!" God has me here in Memphis, TN for a reason and i just need to trust in Him. it's funny how when life is happening to us we don't see God's meaning behind it. i could probably write a book on the ways that God has used my situations to shape me or someone around me. of coarse at the time the change was happening i questioned God.....why do you have me in memphis? why couldn't i stay in auburn? but these situations are a part of God's plan in my life, i just need to trust in the farmer/father because He will provide!