dying to become new

if i could have dinner with anyone on this earth it would be elizabeth elliot! i stumbled upon this quote in one of her books...

"deeper and deeper must be the dying, for wider and fuller is the lifetide that it is to liberate-no longer limited by the narrow range of our own being, but with endless powers of multiplying in other souls. death must reach the very springs of our nature to set it free; it is not this thing or that thing that must go now: it is blindly, helplessly, recklessly, our very selves. a dying must come upon all that would hinder God's working through us-all interests, all impulses, all energies that are "born of the flesh"-all that is merely human and apart from His Spirit."

just the wording in that passage is so powerful..."blindly, helplessly, recklessly." that just convicts me of my brokeness. my brokeness of loving the world more than my Father. i love when it says "a dying must come upon all that would hinder God's working through us." that my life isn't about me, know matter how much i like to think so. "by the power of GOd, who saved us and called us to a holy calling, not because of our works but because of his own purpose and grace, which he gave us in Christ Jesus before the ages began." 2 timothy 1:9. that's so empowering. that we have to die from our sinful self.

lately i've been thinking about what i'm struggling with and probably like every other college girl it's contentment. just contentment in the place that God has placed me and in singleness. i feel that in my singleness God is slowly revealing to me just my selfish heart is. how i think "God why can't it be this way or that way?" when i shouldn't even be questioning the place that God has me. i read in ecclesiastes last week these verses "consider the work of GOd; who can make straight what he has made crook? in the day of prosperity be joyful, and in the day of adversity consider: GOd has made the one as well as the other , so that man may not find out anything that will be after him." i'm just stopped in my tracks. God is in control of my life and i need to trust in Him! that Him could use the place that i'm at to draw me closer to Him and share His Kingdom! that painting perfect pictures in my head of what my life is going to look like is not going to get me anywhere. we are calling to live our live's for Christ, why do we act like his blood was cheap??