everyone dies famous in a small town...

i've almost thanksgiving. my favorite holiday! ahh i love sitting around a big dinner table and listening to peoples stories with the smell of pumpkin in the air and fresh pot of mema's coffee....ok before i add on to this story i think it's time for some confessions....well, i mean obviously it's been awhile since i've blogged. i guess the main reason is because i feel what i have to say is boring, but thanks to my friend tswift, i'm learning that it's okay to speak your mind if you do it with love. i guess another confession is that i haven't had anything to write about, mainly because i feel that i used up all my joys for writing on one person, who ended up letting me down (yeah, that story is for a different day, sorry this isn't the pioneer woman's blog haha). so here goes, i'm back in the saddle, well for now. we'll see how long this creative ride last.

i'm really excited about going home. i've said it before and i'll say it again, there's just something special about going home after being gone for awhile. i'm just so ready to kick this city life and be on my farm! where i can walk outside naked if i want to and nobody would see me. well obviously now because of facebook the whole town of sheridan knows my plan now! ha. anyway, the more i'm in the city, the more i feel that it's hardened my soul. probably because i miss seeing the night stars and having fresh air to breathe. oh and being surrounded by the nosiest creatures in the world, aka cows. i feel that people can learn a lot about life from cows. i know, you're probably thinking "who is this crazy cow girl?!?" but you should give a cow a chance and you'll see what i'm talking about. i'm trying really hard to love living in the city and i know that i spent the first 18 years of my life wanting to run away from small town america, but i'm beginning to get it. i'm beginning to understand why people who live in a small town have a hard time leaving it.

this world is big and broken, we think that a place or a job can fix the brokenness that consumes us. we try everything to get a quick fix, but the truth is that at the end of the day whatever our weapon is, we are still left feeling empty. i feel that our face can get so lost in a city. people from a distance think that they get you, they think that they understand what you're going through/dealing with, but they are just see whats on the surface. they see what they want to see and make impressions in their head about who we are, but it's all fake. in a small town, you can't hide your face, people somehow know things about you that you don't even know about yourself. small town people may gossip about you, but it all comes out in the wash. it's a place where you can act a fool and people still love you, even when you are so messed up! i guess it's because in a small town you are understood because people take the time to get to know you. okay okay, i'm off my soapbox! i think the country song is true, everyone dies famous in a small town..

Morning

"Order my footsteps by Thy Word,

And make my heart sincere;

Let sin have no dominion, Lord,

But keep my conscience clear"

it's been awhile

so it's been awhile since i've blogged. i wish that i had some crazy exciting adventure to tell you about. i like how i say you as if anyone actually reads this. i have no earthly clue as to who actually reads this blog, but i'm okay with that. well for the past month i've been living life. i'm trying to find a job, but i'm came to the realization that it is out of my control. i guess the biggest battle that i'm fighting right now involves the issue of control. i had a hard time sometimes to just let things happen as they should. i don't know if that makes sense, but i guess just go with it. i've been to 3 different interviews and now i'm just waiting. the more i wait the more i feel as if it was a bad date. i think that's what job hunting is like, it's like dating. you get all dressed up and look super cute. you try to think of how you're going to introduce yourself and what you're going to say, when the truth is you're just going to stumble over your words. then there is the waiting period where you think "did they like me?" "why aren't they calling me back?" blah blah blah. i'm so over it! i just hate all these interviewers playing hard to get. i know that they are just players, making you believe that you are the only one they are interested in when they have the cougars waiting in line behind you. i see how it is! i'm not going to take it anymore. i'm not the playing type. i know what i want, i just wish they wanted me back. oh well, someday!!!

something to think about

http://faithinmemphis.com/2011/05/02/thank-god-for-undeserved-mercies/

we we we so exciting....seriously? why?

so it's 4:30 in the morning and i'm wide awake. i have no earthly clue as to why? maybe it's because i keep having nightmares about that stupid rebecca black song "friday," it's on repeat in my head. i know, sooo unfortunate right?

last night my roommate and i got mexican with our friend, then went to watch the grizzlies game. ahh it was such a heartbreaker! well i had this revelation ...i was driving and we were blaring mumford & sons "awake my soul" (yep, still obsessed). we were clapping and singing at the top of our lungs like our life's depended on it! in this moment i realized just how thankful i was to be at this place in my life.

the place where i'm single, about to graduate, and have no earthly clue as to where my life is going come saturday . it's this place that causes my mind to wake up at 4 in the morning, just to mull things over. i think that times like these are good for a person, they make you realize you're not in control of ANYTHING. as much as we try to plan out our perfect life's, the Lord's plan always is there to trump it. i think that is a comforting thing to know, that the Lord of the universe has you in the exact place He wants you because that place where it's single, dating, married, working, being a mom is glorifying Him the most.

as for me, i'm thankful that...i can live with my best friends, make target runs because we're bored, rent chick-flicks from red box, cry in our driveway, go to chick-fil-a and order a kids meal with ice cream, go on walks to talk about life, and drive around blaring really good music.

Hope in God

Hope in God

awake my soul

i've been in love with mumford & sons since last spring when my father, yes father, introduced them to me. i've been waiting to hear them in concert since that day and that day has finally come! they played last night at music fest and let me tell you, i'm now obsessed!

so music fest is a time in memphis when bands from ever genre play down by the river. it was my first time to experience music fest and probably will be my last. don't get me wrong. i love people and i love music, but when you are being drown by sweaty smelly drunk people you begin to see that the two don't really mix.

so there i was, sandwiched between high schoolers and old people trying to be young, gnats swarming over my head, then they start to play! i have no words to describe the talent of these young men. as they played i forgot i was standing in mud, surrounded by annoying people. they are just so amazing. as i was listening to the band i just couldn't help but think how a person can heard such talent and still fail to believe in God? i just don't think that you can hear such beauty and think that our race just happened by chance? it just blows my mind.

things i'm going to tell my daughter

or some random girl if i don't have a daughter

1. a woman never reveals her age. you simple say "well i know because that's what my mother tells me..."

2. always wear sunscreen, you don't want to look like your mother when you don't have to look like your mother

3. always carry a book. it makes you look smart and gives you something to do after you have exhausted the internet

4. never chop of your hair. you'll think it's a good idea at the time, but that feeling will pass and you'll have to wait a year for it to grow.

5. don't let snail mail die.

to be continued...

having fun isn't hard when you have a library card!

so yesterday i got my first ever LIBRARY CARD! now i'm back at the library "studying." oh i just love libraries! so many books, so many different people, and adventures. it's like at airport without the smell of stale air and cinnabons. such a perfect way to spend a cloudy april day!

CHRIST IS RISEN

It's Easter and this song is the perfect song for this perfect day. Just listen to the words proclaimed in this song.



No life circumstance is too much for Christ to handle for "those who are well have NO need of a physician, but those who are sick. I came not to call the righteous, but SINNERS." mark 2:17... He came to redeem our brokenness "For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. by sending his OWN SOn in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit." romans 8:3-4. He knows your heart "You know when I sit down and when I rise up' you discern my thoughts from afar." psalm 139: 2....He yet He loves you the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow.