Friday, April 8, 2011
so it begins
well i'm fixin to write my story. i'd say it's going to be a little like tswift meets adele meets pw meets e. elliot. get ready, it's going to happen.
things i'll never get over
over sized sunglasses!!! just love how when you put them on they make you feel like a movie star
my love for auburn
the icing on cupcakes
hydrangeas.
my best friend in the morning
cowboy boots or boots, they go with everything!
the man of my dreams!!
(pictures via
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
someone like you
i was driving home yesterday from indiana. 8 hours, alone, in a car....too long. i was listening to adele and this song called "someone like you" was playing. i'm so in love with it. i feel that she took all the pain, sorrow, bitterness, hurt that has been growing in my heart over this past year and put it into this song. it's so amazing how she can take such a deep, painful story and make it sound so beautiful.... i feel that i've come to a point in my life where i just don't feel the pain anymore. i don't know if that makes sense. i don't want to say too much because who knows who actually reads this blog. probably some creeper in idaho for all i know. but anyway, this song has been in my head since yesterday and today i was faced with the character of this story. i saw him in the corner of my eye and it took everything in me to not run away. i wanted to run because i didn't want to have to act like i had myself all together. i've spend the last who knows how long praying that God would piece me back together. and i understand that the Lord only gives us as much as we can handle, but i don't understand what He's trying to tell me through these random encounters? anyway, i couldn't run because he called out my name. i turned and walked toward him. i feel that the only thing that held me together in that moment, that encounter, was the Holy Spirit. i don't remember what was said, but i remember that i couldn't look him in the eyes. i didn't want to because i knew that it would break me. i better stop here, too much has been said.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
how deep the Fathers love for us
lately i've been convicted how broken i am and how deep the Fathers love is. it's hard to believe and have faith that all our sins are forgiven. that the Father doesn't see the filth that consumes me. i guess the Fathers love for His people has really been on my heart because of the things that i've witnessed in my clinical this semester. most of the patients i care for are: untouchables, cast aways, unwanteds. it's really sad to look in these patient's eyes and see the brokenness that plagues their soul! there is one patient that has been their for months. she is so sick by the brokenness of her past that i really don't think she's going to recover. the other day i walked in the room and she looked like she had been crying. i asked her if everything was okay? she said she was feeling depressed and needed her depression medicine. i gave her a hug because that's all that i knew to do and of coarse she starts crying. i got her medicine for her, but i really thought that she needed a dose of the gospel.
this whole semester has really revealed to me the depth of sin. like on spring break i was watching the movie blood diamond and my mom was like "how can you watch that? it's sooo violent!!" i was like, " i know, but that is the world we live in!" i feel that we sometimes put ourselves in a box. a box where the only things that matters to us are the things that we are dealing with. it's like the world revolves around us. i mean if you think about it, who is the only person that we never get tired of hearing from???? ourselves. it's really sad that sin distorts our mind into thinking that. i just got done listening to a sermon kind of about this. it was about doubting the Fathers love....
we think that the Father can't possible love us for all the sin that we have caused. for all the brokenness, for our addictions, for our past. but He does!!!
"wake yourself, wake yourself, stand up, O Jerusalem, you who have drunk from the hand of the Lord the cup of his wrath, who have drunk to the dregs the bowl, the cup of staggering. there is NONE to guide her among all the sons she has borne' there is none to take her by the hand among all the sons she had brought up. these two things have happened to you- who will console you?- devastation and destruction, famine and sword; who will comfort you? your sons have fainted' they lie at the head of every street like an antelope in a net; they are full of the wrath of the Lord, the rebuke of your God. therefore hear this, you who are afflicted, who are drunk, but not with wine; thus says your Lord, the Lord, your God who pleads the cause of His people: "BEHOLD, I HAVE TAKEN FROM YOUR HAND THE CUP OF STAGGERING; THE BOWL OF MY WRATH YOU SHALL DRINK NO MORE; And I PUT IT INTO THE HAND OF YOUR TORMENTORS, WHO HAVE SAID TO YOU, "BOW DOWN, THAT WE MAY PASS OVER," AND HAVE MADE YOUR BACK LIKE THE GROUND AND LIKE THE STREET OR THEM TO PASS OVER." isaiah 51: 17-23
"knowing that you were ransomed from the futile ways inherited from your forefathers, not with perishable things such as silver or gold, but with the precious blood of Christ, like that of a lamb without blemish or spot." 1 peter 1:18
"in this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins." 1 john 4:10
it's crazy to imagine that kind of love. i mean, we judge our neighbors and our friends, gossip about their sin, our hearts are hardened, we are unforgiving, sinful people. i mean how can we truly call ourselves christians if our hearts aren't consumed with love for all people. Jesus forgave us for all our sins, so why can't we look to our brother and sisters in Christ and love them for the broken person that they are?? something to think about...
this whole semester has really revealed to me the depth of sin. like on spring break i was watching the movie blood diamond and my mom was like "how can you watch that? it's sooo violent!!" i was like, " i know, but that is the world we live in!" i feel that we sometimes put ourselves in a box. a box where the only things that matters to us are the things that we are dealing with. it's like the world revolves around us. i mean if you think about it, who is the only person that we never get tired of hearing from???? ourselves. it's really sad that sin distorts our mind into thinking that. i just got done listening to a sermon kind of about this. it was about doubting the Fathers love....
we think that the Father can't possible love us for all the sin that we have caused. for all the brokenness, for our addictions, for our past. but He does!!!
"wake yourself, wake yourself, stand up, O Jerusalem, you who have drunk from the hand of the Lord the cup of his wrath, who have drunk to the dregs the bowl, the cup of staggering. there is NONE to guide her among all the sons she has borne' there is none to take her by the hand among all the sons she had brought up. these two things have happened to you- who will console you?- devastation and destruction, famine and sword; who will comfort you? your sons have fainted' they lie at the head of every street like an antelope in a net; they are full of the wrath of the Lord, the rebuke of your God. therefore hear this, you who are afflicted, who are drunk, but not with wine; thus says your Lord, the Lord, your God who pleads the cause of His people: "BEHOLD, I HAVE TAKEN FROM YOUR HAND THE CUP OF STAGGERING; THE BOWL OF MY WRATH YOU SHALL DRINK NO MORE; And I PUT IT INTO THE HAND OF YOUR TORMENTORS, WHO HAVE SAID TO YOU, "BOW DOWN, THAT WE MAY PASS OVER," AND HAVE MADE YOUR BACK LIKE THE GROUND AND LIKE THE STREET OR THEM TO PASS OVER." isaiah 51: 17-23
"knowing that you were ransomed from the futile ways inherited from your forefathers, not with perishable things such as silver or gold, but with the precious blood of Christ, like that of a lamb without blemish or spot." 1 peter 1:18
"in this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins." 1 john 4:10
it's crazy to imagine that kind of love. i mean, we judge our neighbors and our friends, gossip about their sin, our hearts are hardened, we are unforgiving, sinful people. i mean how can we truly call ourselves christians if our hearts aren't consumed with love for all people. Jesus forgave us for all our sins, so why can't we look to our brother and sisters in Christ and love them for the broken person that they are?? something to think about...
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
jesus loves you
so i'm recovering from my 12 hour clinical. when this semester started, i was so annoyed and anger that i was going to be at this hospital. my friend brown informed me that God has me at this hospital for a reason. haha what do you say to that??? well i just finished week 3 and i have to agree with her. God's hand is ever present in this clinical, from the way my nurse treats me to the patients. i feel that the Lord is trying to open my eyes to the suffering of His people. i feel myself always thinking my problems, my suffering is so much greater then those around me. i want so bad for the Lord to answer my prayers, my heart's desire, of coarse this is all in vain because i'm basically telling God that i know more than Him. i know that the Lord will's things to happen and His timing is perfect, it's just so hard to remember that in the moment. most of the patient's i've dealt with come from a long line of brokenness. they are deeply wounded by broken relationships, addictions, etc. it just breaks my heart!! i feel so convicted to share the gospel with them. like the other day one of my patient's was crying that no one loved her, she was going on and on. i wanted so bad to scream, "Jesus does!!!" i know that i'm just a student nurse and i'm not in the place to share the gospel, but i pray that the Lord would continue to give me strength and courage to care for these people.
"whatever the Lord pleases, He does, in heaven and on earth, in the seas and all deeps." ps 135:6
"let not your hearts be trouble. believe in God; believe also in me....I WILL NOT LEAVE YOU AS ORPHANS; I WILL COME TO YOU. yet a little while and the world will see me no more, but you will see me. because I live, you also will live." john 14:1; 18-19
"for the LOVE of CHRIST controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; and He died for all that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised." 2 cor 5:14-15
"for we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempts as we are, yet without sin." heb 4:15
"whatever the Lord pleases, He does, in heaven and on earth, in the seas and all deeps." ps 135:6
"let not your hearts be trouble. believe in God; believe also in me....I WILL NOT LEAVE YOU AS ORPHANS; I WILL COME TO YOU. yet a little while and the world will see me no more, but you will see me. because I live, you also will live." john 14:1; 18-19
"for the LOVE of CHRIST controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; and He died for all that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised." 2 cor 5:14-15
"for we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempts as we are, yet without sin." heb 4:15
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
wounds
so i'm getting ready to go to bed because i have my first 12 hour clinical tomorrow. oh joy!! i was reading in my journal and thinking about life and i decided to write. i guess i haven't been in the writing mood lately because i've been frustrated with life and the lack of direction that seems to be surrounding me. my dad sent me a text this morning about the passage where Jesus tells the disciples "ye of little faith!!" he said the term "hang in there comes from Jesus hanging on the cross." i mean who knows if that's right, but it cut me deep. i feel that i store so much into things/ideas/plans/people of this world and God's like "no, not going to happen.." i mean, i understand that we have to know what hunger feels like to know when to eat, but i feel that i've been starving the past 4 years and i'm just so over it. i know that i'm just being a brat. i was just looking at some sermon notes from last year....the sermon was on wounds and jacob. how GOd had to wound jacob in order to draw him to Him!! i feel that i've just been wrestling God the past 4 years, wanting so badly to go my own way. to have things work out the way that i want them to. i know that it's all in sin, i'm human, broken, weak, what in the world can i do on my own?? i wish that was easy to just accept. that it didn't have to hurt to feel scars that the wounds of this world leave on us. oh how i hate sine!!!! at the end of that sermon about jacob, the preacher said "where God wounds use the deepest He uses us the most." i believe it, but i hate waiting.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
what's on my mind
1. gilmore girls!! pretty obsessed. now that i have a life, i still don't have a life. i really hate nursing school, it took all the fun out of me. anyway, i'm on the last season of gil and i'm totally a logan fan! i mean how can you not be in love with his rich boy charm.
2. snood=my favorite fashion trend
3. i hate running... i have 11.5 months to fall in love with running, but it's going to be a long road. i ran or i should say jogged 12 minutes today. yes i said minutes. i thought that i was going to die!
4. serendipity....don't you just hate when things happen and you want so hard to read GOd's mind and know what's going to happen.
1. gilmore girls!! pretty obsessed. now that i have a life, i still don't have a life. i really hate nursing school, it took all the fun out of me. anyway, i'm on the last season of gil and i'm totally a logan fan! i mean how can you not be in love with his rich boy charm.
2. snood=my favorite fashion trend
3. i hate running... i have 11.5 months to fall in love with running, but it's going to be a long road. i ran or i should say jogged 12 minutes today. yes i said minutes. i thought that i was going to die!
4. serendipity....don't you just hate when things happen and you want so hard to read GOd's mind and know what's going to happen.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
1-1-11
Happy New Years!!! I still can't believe that we are starting a new decade! I have to admit that I've pretty excited about this year/decade! For starters, I'm finally graduating college! The long and bumpy journey is about to end and I have no clue where I'm going to be. Only time will tell!
Ok so like any New Years, I guess I should list my resolutions...
1. Become a runner......ha yeah I totally HATE running, but I what to run a half-marathon so it's going to happen
2. Become a RN... hopefully
3. Pursue new friendships
4. Learn how to play the guitar
5. Touch my toes....I've never been able too.
6. Learn a new language
7. Stop chasing things
yeah that's all I have for now
Ok so like any New Years, I guess I should list my resolutions...
1. Become a runner......ha yeah I totally HATE running, but I what to run a half-marathon so it's going to happen
2. Become a RN... hopefully
3. Pursue new friendships
4. Learn how to play the guitar
5. Touch my toes....I've never been able too.
6. Learn a new language
7. Stop chasing things
yeah that's all I have for now
Monday, December 27, 2010
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Another Waitt Christmas
one house+ 29 family members+ every cookie imaginable = the Waitt Family Christmas
I tried to liven up the Waitt Christmas with a game of Signs. It didn't really go over too well. I guess some things are best left in the south.
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