i've almost thanksgiving. my favorite holiday! ahh i love sitting around a big dinner table and listening to peoples stories with the smell of pumpkin in the air and fresh pot of mema's coffee....ok before i add on to this story i think it's time for some confessions....well, i mean obviously it's been awhile since i've blogged. i guess the main reason is because i feel what i have to say is boring, but thanks to my friend tswift, i'm learning that it's okay to speak your mind if you do it with love. i guess another confession is that i haven't had anything to write about, mainly because i feel that i used up all my joys for writing on one person, who ended up letting me down (yeah, that story is for a different day, sorry this isn't the pioneer woman's blog haha). so here goes, i'm back in the saddle, well for now. we'll see how long this creative ride last.
i'm really excited about going home. i've said it before and i'll say it again, there's just something special about going home after being gone for awhile. i'm just so ready to kick this city life and be on my farm! where i can walk outside naked if i want to and nobody would see me. well obviously now because of facebook the whole town of sheridan knows my plan now! ha. anyway, the more i'm in the city, the more i feel that it's hardened my soul. probably because i miss seeing the night stars and having fresh air to breathe. oh and being surrounded by the nosiest creatures in the world, aka cows. i feel that people can learn a lot about life from cows. i know, you're probably thinking "who is this crazy cow girl?!?" but you should give a cow a chance and you'll see what i'm talking about. i'm trying really hard to love living in the city and i know that i spent the first 18 years of my life wanting to run away from small town america, but i'm beginning to get it. i'm beginning to understand why people who live in a small town have a hard time leaving it.
this world is big and broken, we think that a place or a job can fix the brokenness that consumes us. we try everything to get a quick fix, but the truth is that at the end of the day whatever our weapon is, we are still left feeling empty. i feel that our face can get so lost in a city. people from a distance think that they get you, they think that they understand what you're going through/dealing with, but they are just see whats on the surface. they see what they want to see and make impressions in their head about who we are, but it's all fake. in a small town, you can't hide your face, people somehow know things about you that you don't even know about yourself. small town people may gossip about you, but it all comes out in the wash. it's a place where you can act a fool and people still love you, even when you are so messed up! i guess it's because in a small town you are understood because people take the time to get to know you. okay okay, i'm off my soapbox! i think the country song is true, everyone dies famous in a small town..
